Note: Comments of readers are their own and do not reflect the feelings of Bob Lonsberry or lonsberry.com.
25 Responses to:
WHY CHILDREN STRAY
# 1. 5/14/12 7:01 AM by little john - Mt.Morris,N.Y.
I liked the column. Same parents, five children, five unique outcomes, tempered with the same positive love. "People, (children)?, need love the most when they deserve it the least."
Not negative love to enable bad behaviors, but the positive love to light the path to redemption and salvation. "IT" used to be God, Family, School, and Peers in precedence of living a good life. Now, "IT" seems to be peers, school, family, and God last. But we all must remember what is apparently least is most and maybe that is first. Whatever... Thanx for the opportunity to let me comment. A good column to chew on as food for thought...AXM
# 2. 5/14/12 7:42 AM by DD
God is the perfect parent, yet count the number of His children who've gone astray.
Editor's Note: exactly
# 3. 5/14/12 7:54 AM by Cal - Rochester, NY
One time I went and took a "street people" friend to a Billy Graham crusade in Toronto. Billy Graham`s sermon was on the Prodigal`s Son. It turned out that his own son, Franklin, had strayed in the most bad way and he didn`t know where he was... He definately was in grief and prayed about it publicly! He seemed to feel that it was the worst thing that ever happened to him!
But he kept the Faith and Franklin returned some time later. Now he is a very experienced person who helps many others that were in the same situation. In fact Franklin is now in charge of the Billy Graham Ministeries! And Franklin loves his parents very much now! Look at him soar now! In fact he was just in Haiti with Sarah Palin helping those children who had suffered in their latest earthquake.
In fact I have a birthday card from George Beverly Shea`s (Billy Graham`s soloist) mother to my young daughter, whose mother was from Canisteo! So we do have the option to pray for our waywood children! The love of God may prevail!
# 4. 5/14/12 8:34 AM by SingerGuy - Orem, UT
I'm a 53-year-old #2 of 14 children, all raised basically the same way. Three are in heaven, having all died as young children. Three of us are actively religious in the faith of our youth. One was a street bum in downtown Salt Lake City for a while (because he _chose_ that lifestyle), one is an over-the-top new ager who believes in "life energy" and magnetized rock jewelry for therapy, one is a party hard guy with very rough friends and the rest are in various stages of ambivalence to anything religious in their life. There really is a huge factor of free agency involved in each one of their choices.
# 5. 5/14/12 8:58 AM by Hm
I agree that people do choose to take their own course, no matter what happens to them. There are very successful people who came from broken homes or backgrounds, as well as dismal failures that came from the most solid families you could imagine. In the end, you can't program how your kids are going to turn out.
I think it goes back more to the parable of the sower and the seed, than anything else. Some things, even though they are good, just fall on deaf ears. You can't force the understanding no matter how hard you try. Some people just have to learn their lessons the hard way.
# 6. 5/14/12 9:01 AM by Matt - Rochester, NY
I recommend the TV series "Saving Grace" for a perfect view of what God and heaven are all about. Excellent show, sometimes tough to watch, but with an outstanding message.
# 7. 5/14/12 9:11 AM
Why doesn't God just keep the kids from straying in the first place instead of playing games with people? More to the point, why does God get the credit when things go well, but not the blame when things go wrong?
# 8. 5/14/12 9:29 AM by Joy
the roots of alcoholism are always in co-dependent parents which is different than parents who are truly in love and are compatible. This is not to blame the parents but it is what it is. Not learning to put God first or knowing even what god is good orderly direction. We are taught that Jesus died for our sins but who did he die for and who killed him but satanists which may be off the subject but they do human sacrifice and have done it for thousands of years. Time to wake up folks.
The Creator does not require sacrifices and wants people to be in touch with their deepest feelings not to numb our feelings out with dead relationships or drugs. He wants us to enjoy life not to be afraid of life.
Editor's Note: parents always cause alcholism? how stupid.
# 9. 5/14/12 9:29 AM
Look at you BL, sportin the RPD t-shirt at the public market. Man, I was very surprised, you look like your in very good shape, along with that top gun haircut.
Editor's Note: and, dang, did i get some good deals. what a great place, and what a great place to shop.
# 10. 5/14/12 9:32 AM by Rich - Penfield, NY
#7 - exactly. I'm always boggled by cases where, when tragedy strikes, the religious nuts will proclaim "Thank you god! You saved this child from the horrible house fire!", while neglecting to give credit to that same god for the four other kids he apparently murdered for kicks.
# 11. 5/14/12 11:06 AM by tw - Rochester
I kind of disagree with you. You didn't go far enough.
If parents provide a child a good home, good fertile soil for the seed to grow, as evidenced by other seeds that grow well, it is even more the fault of the child who fails for that failure.
They don't have the excuse of a bad childhood. They don't have the excuse of poverty, or no role models. They don't have the excuse of a bad upbringing. It is all on the "prodigal" child, even more so than those from broken homes.
Freedom and free will is for those who deserve it, and we should all strive to deserve it.
I disagree with you 90% of the time, but you are right on here, Bob.
# 12. 5/14/12 11:21 AM
Looks like most on here do realize that the Bible Thumpers are a joke even in their own mind. Will blame others because they don't follow what they believe is god, and when that doesn't work just throw up your hands and say it aint my fault just like everyone else.
# 13. 5/14/12 11:30 AM by Chuck - Webster
On another topic - one you spoke of this morning (the Patel near-monopoly on small motels) - remember that these immigrants qualify, as non-whites, for special Small Business Administration loans. Thus, our own government works against Americans, at least nonwhite ones, owning small businesses.
# 14. 5/14/12 11:41 AM
A wise column, full of truths.
# 15. 5/14/12 12:02 PM by kittynana - Lewiston NY
2 of my 3 have led questionable lives. Those 2 have BOTH said to us those were THEIR choices and that those decisions had nothing to do with us. My therapist dittoed their sentiments.
So we've been able to relax a bit and not feel so guilty. We're also learning to back off a bit.
# 16. 5/14/12 12:05 PM by ad nauseum
is this the sermon for today?
# 17. 5/14/12 3:17 PM by ~E~ - Hilton, NY
I agree with you, Bob. My only big problem is letting go of the guilt. Four children...three are doing okay (in spite of marrying someone that we weren't crazy about), the fourth is married for the second time to a Jeckel-and-Hyde that we liked until after the wedding. Now she controls his life to the extent that he's cut off all contact with us. How do I dismiss the guilt that "we messed up somewhere"? He expects different treatment than his three siblings--not going to happen. So two of our grandchildren will never know a caring set of grandparents and aunts, uncles, cousins. Yes, it's his choice, but something allowed his choice.
# 18. 5/14/12 4:09 PM by Tom - Webster
God is not a puppeteer. He has given us all free will because love isn't love if it is not freely given, and God wants us to love him. People make bad choices because they choose to ignore God's commands, and create their own god. Our children who have reached the use of reason are responsible for their own actions. God has no grandchildren!
# 19. 5/14/12 4:50 PM by Rick C. - Rochester,NY 14610
I fulfilled My Parents expectations, I registered democrat in 1971 and voted for George McGovern for President of The United States in 1972 and in 1976,1980,1984,1988,1992,1996,2000,2004,2008 and I will be voting for the Re-Election of Barack H.Obama in the 2012 Presidential Election. The Streak Lives,and it will never die.
# 20. 5/14/12 4:56 PM by Beth - Canandaigua, NY
Thank you...thank you...thank you. Our children have been raised by alcohol and drug free parents. Hubbie and I are married an he is the Bio dad of both my children. We are in no way perfect. However we didn't ever expect the mental illness that gripped our daughter when she was a young teen. We took her for treatment and therapy and had a good grip on "stuff". Then she turned 18 and while we were paying the premiums on the insurance that covered her care, we were no longer privy to the sessions. Eventually she stopped going, ran out of meds, and now uses drugs and alcohol to manage her illness. Yea, go ahead and judge me those parents of perfect children. I still love my daughter and she is well aware that she is loved. Can you say the same for your children? Or are they too afraid your love is conditional, so they behave like robots to keep your love? My perfect sibling has perfect children. My children would cause my sibling to go belly up. (By the way..my minister said kind of what you did. God gives these children to the parents who can handle them)
# 21. 5/14/12 5:16 PM by John - Penfield
Old kierkegaard was correct, our fates are not chosen for us, we choose our destinies through the choices we make in life.
# 22. 5/14/12 8:26 PM by Amazed!
A few years ago, I attended a 50th anniversary of a couple of relatives who had 5 kids.
I was extremely impressed how these former "spoiled monsters" turned out.
Also impressive was the fact that many of the others invited had turned out pretty well considering the diversity of their characters.
I have done pretty well in my life and career, and I honestly have to admit that my relatives had turned out a whole lot better than expected.
But the common denominator for both myself AND them was the existences of Kodak and Xerox.
So my BIG question is "how will their kids do without the Kodaks and Xeroxes?
And I cry...
It is unproven and untrod turf, to be sure. But if they do well, God bless them all!
They will surely need it!
# 23. 5/15/12 2:23 AM by Elise - ut
Right on Bob! Its all about free agency. Do the best you can and hope they don't vote for Obama. :)
# 24. 5/15/12 7:24 AM by Rob - Lewis County, NY
RE #19: Rick C.
"I fulfilled My Parents expectations, I registered democrat in 1971 and voted for George McGovern for President of The United States in 1972 and in 1976,1980,1984,1988,1992,1996,2000,2004,2008 and I will be voting for the Re-Election of Barack H.Obama in the 2012 Presidential Election. The Streak Lives,and it will never die." Really? I don't recall McGovern being on the democratic ticket from 1976-2008. Apparently, your parents weren't expecting much.
# 25. 5/15/12 7:26 AM by Joel - webster
# 19 I did not know that George Mc Govern ran for president ten times. Do you have trouble with your vote or did you write in Georges name?
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