Note: Comments of readers are their own and do not reflect the feelings of Bob Lonsberry or lonsberry.com.
38 Responses to:
IN MEMORY OF THE FAIRPORT FIVE
# 1. 6/27/12 7:20 AM by Matt - Rochester, NY
Very well said. Thanks for this today.
# 2. 6/27/12 7:22 AM by Jodi - Wayne County East
We can all believe in santa or the tooth ferry as well but there is no biblical support for that either.
Biblically We are not all God's children. We will not all go to heaven if we are so called good people or spiritual or believe in the theory of all faiths lead to God and we will not all be united with our loved ones after death.
As tragic as this situation is unless you are a born again believer in Jesus the Christ and have received Him as your personal Lord and Savior it is not going to happen.
Sorry folks it's not going to happen just because it makes us feel better about ourselves and our non Jesus personal choices.
If you don't believe me read your bibles.
Then pray to believe accept and follow Jesus.
Then walk the walk.
Editor's Note: we are all god's children, though many of us -- myself included -- will go to hell.
# 3. 6/27/12 7:24 AM by Grandma Taxpayer - Greece, NY
I can't even imagine the pain and anguish these families have been through. May God bless them always.
# 4. 6/27/12 7:25 AM by Mark - Greece
Good column today that I can almost agree with. Accept the ending. I don't believe God "takes" us home. We really need to stop blaming him for death and sorrow. I want to believe that when I die and if I get to Heaven, God is just as surprised that I am there as I am. I think by teaching children that God would do this scares them. And I think it scares adults. I don't want to be scared of God. And I don't want to blame him for all the bad that happens.
Editor's Note: when you have the perspective of the eternities, you won't blame him, you will thank you.
# 5. 6/27/12 7:39 AM
You referred to yourself 20 times in this column, and not once mention these girls by name. So much for the "in memory" part.
Who was this column REALLY about?
# 6. 6/27/12 7:41 AM by The Lesson
As some would say, when something "bad" happens, it is part of God's plan and there is a reason for it, though we might not ever on this Earth figure out what that reason is.
Ask Marine Veteran Dan Thomas. He is man who has been to hell and back, more than once, for sure. Burned almost beyond recognition over 90% of his body, he has undergone countless operations to reconstruct what he had left of his body. A leg amputated, no fingers left on his hands, and countless other injuries to his body.
On a day when I was feeling down and sad, I met him quite by accident, almost like two ships passing in the night. He told me his story and left me with indescribable inspiration indeed. Here was a man who was down but not out. He survived a thousand battles, and he goes about his daily life with an enthusiasm that few men can even attempt to muster. Though severely crippled by his injuries, he moves about as if he never had to endure his own special version of hell on Earth. And he does it gracefully, and with purpose.
And most of all, when you try to act sympathetic to his plight, he holds his head high and proudly proclaims that all things in life have a purpose, and what happened to him was all a part of God's plan.
Only he knows what that really means in his life. And that day he showed me how to hold my head high regardless of the hardships and setbacks I might have to endure in my life.
And for that I owe him forever. But it is a debt that I will gladly and proudly assume. And an inspiration I will pass along to others with the good kind of pride...
# 7. 6/27/12 8:22 AM
Our son graduated with these women. I can tell you it is still as painful today as it was five years ago.
Remembering the anniversary of a death just brings how they died to the surface again. I know you mean well, but it would be better if you let them rest in peace.
Editor's Note: by which you mean, it would be easier for you if you everyone just forgot about them.
# 8. 6/27/12 8:25 AM by A Patriot - Lockport, NY
Your words today bring a measure of comfort to my wife and I, as we lost a dear friend last night. Thank you.
# 9. 6/27/12 8:27 AM by Jodi - Wayne County East
Jhn 1:11 He came unto his own, and his own received him not.
Jhn 1:12 But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, [even] to them that believe on his name
# 10. 6/27/12 8:42 AM by DRT - $#@%chester, NY
I believe you shall not text while driving.
That aside, you never know how much time you have with anyone. It doesn't always take death for them to go out of your life. Making the most of it (if you can) seems to be better than taking things for granted.
# 11. 6/27/12 9:10 AM by Leigh - Rochester, NY
#7- They ARE resting in peace. What you mean is let you pretend it never happened so you don't have to deal with it.
# 12. 6/27/12 9:29 AM by kittynana - Lewiston NY
Per your poll: My daughter lost her best friend back in 2000 in a car accident. She will be forever 16 years old. The problem is, they were fighting at the time. Daughter would have been in the car with her but, due to their teenaged anger with each other, she wasn't. Daughter has never gotten over her guilt and I've encouraged her to get some grief counseling.
However, she hasn't just sat around, either, wallowing in guilt and grief. She's earned her Masters in Education, working full time the whole time. She realized, with Marissa's passing, that life is fleeting, fragile and precarious. God spared her for a reason.
# 13. 6/27/12 9:57 AM by TERRY S - UNION SPRINGS NY
I believe that the state of new york shares a responsibility in this tragedy. Almost every state in the nation has those orange, pie shaped, (NO PASSING) signes, posted on the left side of the road, that when you pull out to pass, they indicate up ahead where the no passing zone begins. The state can spend billions on undeserving wellfare recipients but cannot spend a little for these signs.
Editor's Note: nobody was passing anybody when this happened. somebody drifted.
# 14. 6/27/12 10:09 AM by Mike - Rochester
Jesus Christ, what a bunch of kooks! Especially you #2. Bunch of freaks who believe in myths and fairy tales. (only some myths and fairy tales cuz you know, it's obvious some creation myths are just myths but christianity is totally true and not a myth *eye roll*) Have you people ever listened to how ludicrous your foolish beliefs are? You believe that there is a magical fairy kingdom up in the clouds where dead people flit about the clouds with people with angels all laughing and reveling together. And the magical cloud kingdom is ruled by an all powerful superman who can do anything but chooses to basically spend his time f'ing with us sea monkeys down here. Amazing how crazy that is.
# 15. 6/27/12 10:16 AM by Ultra Bob - salt lake city Utah
In this Bob Lonsberry is truly a most fortunate human beings.
It doesn’t really matter if religion is true or not, only that one believes it’s true.
# 16. 6/27/12 10:28 AM by Rich - Penfield, NY
I believe that if it was five average high school boys and wasn't a carload of pretty cheerleader-types, five years later everyone would be asking "Who? Oh, those idiots who should have learned how to drive properly?"
# 17. 6/27/12 10:31 AM
I'm #7. You misunderstood my note.
I think it is better if we remember them individually as beautiful people; not a group of girls who perished.
From PERSONAL experience, I can tell you that it's painful to be constantly reminded of how and when a loved one dies as an innocent victim in an accident.
I haven't forgotten the TV station showing his dead body on the 11:00 news. Is that REALLY necessary?
I haven't forgotten the incorrect police report that had pictures of the wrong intersection. I guess it was just a bother to get it right.
I haven't forgotten having to pay hundreds to retrieve the vehicle after it was towed. The tow company didn't feel it was important to let us know they had it for 10 days.
I haven't forgotten the exhausting calling hours. One comfort was so many people loved him as much as we did.
I haven't forgotten the cost of the funeral. He owned his own business and his widow had to call people asking them to pay early.
I haven't forgotten the loss. I haven't forgotten the weeks after when a 2 year old wanted to know when Daddy was coming home.
So please - I don't need reminders or statements about the day he died. Tell me something you liked about my loved one. Tell me how he made you laugh. Tell me a happy story. Tell me how he mattered to you. Don't just remind me of that terrible day because I haven't forgotten.
Editor's Note: maybe you didn't get the message the first time, none of us are impressed with your lingering need to feel sorry for yourself.
# 18. 6/27/12 10:31 AM by Moron
#2, Jodi, I don't need to be born again, my faith never died.
I am so tired of the people who feel that they are religiously superior to the rest of us. I find they are overwhelming hypocrites and phonies.
Born again believers are no different than muslim extremists. No tolerance for anyone else's view points/beliefs.
My belief: dust to dust, there is nothing more. We best make the best of today.
Editor's Note: my downside is that i will have to spend eternity in hell with jokers just like this
# 19. 6/27/12 10:35 AM by BIFF
It's hard to believe that it's been 5 years since that accident.
Though, five were killed, my thoughts also go to the driver of the truck that collided with them. What a terrible and unfortunate life changing circumstance it must have been for him.
# 20. 6/27/12 10:43 AM by Jerry - Rochester
I agree this was a horrible and touching tragedy. However, why is the whole community now observing the anniversary of this tragedy? This is bizarre and uncomfortable in light of the the many other anniversaries that no one is remembering publicly. How many innocent Rochester kids have been gunned down over the years? No one is even keeping count anymore! How many beautiful teens have died in car accidents in Monroe County under much more tragic and tearful circumstances?But, a handful of beautiful white teen girls die in a car accident and it's cause for collective mourning year after year? I truly feel sad for the families, but come on! This should not be an anniversary we observe as a community. It's an insult to the bigger tragedies and deaths which are routinely ignored.
# 21. 6/27/12 11:25 AM
Amen #5 - I thought the same thing. Always about Bob.
Editor's Note: you're g.d. right
# 22. 6/27/12 12:53 PM
Sorry about being slow on the uptake....I didn't know who or what you were talking about until reading some of the comments.
I appreciate what you wrote but I wish you would stop entertaining the Devil with your "I'm going to hell" talk.
Satan loves hearing people minimalize his acreage. Makes it sound almost tolerable.
I'm sure more than one of your devout fans has thought, "well if Bob's there it can't be all bad so I guess I will shoot my wife in the head".
Editor's Note: my downside is that i will have to spend eternity in hell with jokers just like this
# 23. 6/27/12 1:34 PM by Durwood - Canandaigua
Will there be a column like this on the fifth anniversary of every fatal accident?
Editor's Note: i won't wait five years to write yours. i believe in celebrating in the moment.
# 24. 6/27/12 2:55 PM by Chris
Sorry, #2. I don't need to be born again. Some of us got it right the first time.
# 25. 6/27/12 4:05 PM by little john - Mt.Morris,N.Y.
I liked your column very much today.
It is writing like this that is cathartic for people who have lost a child, a sibling, or a parent.
PTSD strikes, without warning, years down the road. We should not judge, how others "feel" or show their emotion...
Just Know, "IT HURTS..." And be gentle, be kind, and love one another with your eyes, and words...(just one man's opinion, who lost a 9 yr old child in Hamlin, N.Y. Aug 19,1981)(on my watch?)
The son of my fellow Vietnam Combat Veteran, and there is not a day goes by I do not think about him. Innocence, taken, tragically; and only G.O.D. knows why. But his memory of being kind, being gentle, and loving me; his stepfather, with his brown eyes, indicative of his native American genes.
His spirit follows me like the crow, and when I am alone, I cry. I cry for him; I cry for his mother; I cry for his father, I cry for all his grandparents, and I cry for his siblings and friends...(friends of a 9yr old cub scout).
Yes; Amish "X" Marines do cry; but not for themselves...
# 26. 6/27/12 6:45 PM by Rick - Lehi, Utah
as to your comments, Bob, Amen, Amen and AMEN!! as to #2 Jodi... God is just!.. such, how can he ignore those whom lived and died without ever hearing the name Jesus Christ.. there are millions and millions of people who have lived on this earth and never heard of Jesus or about him.. They never had the chance to accept him... And you are saying tough luck, it's off to Hell for them.... and if people die with out accepting Jesus go straight to Hell why does it tell us in Peter that "For this cause is the gospel preached to those who are dead" why would the gospel be preached to those who are going to Hell because they didn't accept HIM because they never heard about him in this life?
# 27. 6/28/12 6:37 AM by ice tea revisted with permission
I believe if you text while driving you will be remembered 5 years later. I believe if you don't do your job you will end up with $650,000 + dollars. I believe if you sell bumper stickers and t-shirts you will never have $650,000 + dollars and will not be remembered 5 years later
# 28. 6/28/12 7:34 AM by GEORGE (THE OTHER ONE) - GANANOQUE ONTARIO CANADA
Very nice, comforting sentiments that will reassure all those who need to believe that there is something 'out there' for us after the light goes out. For those of us who need that crutch, who believe in the big guy in the sky, who believe in magic and ghosts and fishes, more power to you and no harm done. Your heart felt prayers for the rest of us are appreciated.
The loss of these poor children was, like so many others, a tragedy. But to say that there was some all-knowing, all-powerful deity involved is just plain silly.
For those who recognize that at the end of life there is only the end, we will always have tomorrow's column.
# 29. 6/28/12 9:52 AM by bob - roch ny
Prayers out to the Families
# 30. 6/28/12 12:55 PM by Jim
attacking #7 is not alright - get a heart
Editor's Note: "alright" is not a word -- get a brain.
# 31. 6/28/12 1:11 PM by J.G
meanwhile Bloomberg wants speeders to be shamed by putting their pictures on facebook - this is going too far - where does it stop?
# 32. 6/28/12 1:20 PM by teresa - Utah
Bob,when you say something beautiful (and true) like this it gives hope. Then when you go and say, as you have time and time again, that you are going to hell, it shows that you really do not have faith in our Savior and the principle of repentance. Are you truly just refusing to repent? Or do you think it does not count for you? Personally I count on it!
Editor's Note: i guess minding your own business is not an option you've considered.
# 33. 6/28/12 4:39 PM
Those girls touched lives that their families will never know about.
I know, because I live in this town and my daughter graduated with them. I have had many a conversation in the grocery store or at a park with other parents in which we discuss the reverberations, good and bad, of their lives and deaths.
If you would permit me a small story. I don't tell it, because it does not reflect well on me, but it illustrates something important.
When these girls were in fifth grade, their families (or they themselves) rented a limo to take them to the fifth grade end-of-the-year party.
I thought that was way over the top, and I said so. What, I wondered to my husband, would become of kids who, by the time they got to their wedding day, would be so jaded to the little fun things of life, like riding in a limo?
And those girls never made it to their wedding days. Clearly, God knew something I didn't, and clearly, I should have kept my mouth shut and trusted that His plan and His insight were a whole lot more important and more powerful than my petty nit-picking with someone else's parenting choice.
When a younger sibling of those girls graduated from high school, or when my own daughter graduated college and got engaged, I thought of those five girls. My heart went out to their parents. And I prayed for them all.
# 34. 6/28/12 4:54 PM by Kevin - Bloomfield
I was a responder on that night. It caused me to leave the emergency service for 4 years, but I am back now, and hope springs eternal. Thank you for this column.
# 35. 6/28/12 10:56 PM by Galen Swenson - Rochester
# 36. 6/29/12 10:38 AM
Lost my step-daughter and her 3 friends in a one car accident thirteen years ago All this "gods reasons and his purpose and lesson plans for us" aside (and what a bunch of crap that is anyway) if none of you have every lost a child that particular way such as #7, you would find it more Christian of yourselves to try and practice a bit of empathy instead of "oh well, sucks to be you" attitude such as Lonsberry hatefully exhibits
# 37. 6/29/12 11:09 AM by hc
#18....Editor's Note: my downside is that i will have to spend eternity in hell with jokers just like this
#21...Editor's Note: my downside is that i will have to spend eternity in hell with jokers just like this
Working that whole vain repetitiony thing again, huh Bob?
Does that mean your gonna run the same column everyday down there, too??
# 38. 7/2/12 3:07 PM by Jamie - Fairport, NY
Great column. I just can't help myself, I seem to get great joy in seeing born again's get slammed. Pray for me.
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