THAT STUFF ABOUT THE R-WORD
It wasn’t really an apology, and even if it was, it only covered half the problem.
I’m talking about the curious behavior of Dan Quatro, the top Republican in the Monroe County Legislature, which serves the area around Rochester, New York. A couple of weeks ago, immediately after a Democrat had voted against a Republican proposal, an Internet broadcast of a Legislature meeting picked up a voice that seemed to angrily blurt, “Jesus! Retard!”
The voice sounded to many like that of Dan Quatro who, as the top Republican in the Monroe County Legislature, did happen to be pretty close to a microphone.
Called on it, he tap-danced. He said he didn’t say it, but he wouldn’t say who did say it, and he said it didn’t matter who said it, but it wouldn’t be said again, and he talked about how generous the county had been and would be to the disability-rights folks.
The people on the news – waving cameras in the faces of any number of “offended” folks – had a great public discussion on the “r-word.” Adding considerably to Dan Quatro’s discomfort is the fact that he got smacked right in the face with the considerable PR machine of a well-organized local disability group. They played him like a fish, and his squirming was on public display for days.
Which is good. He had it coming, and he got off easy.
Because this episode was a rather troubling look into the heart of whoever said those words – and of the leader and party which covered for him.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t believe in political correctness, and I don’t believe in making a man an offender for a word. I believe freedom of speech includes the right to say things that tick other people off or hurt their feelings. I think that hopping up and down and throwing a hissy fit over a word or even a misstatement is a manipulation of the Left, a tactic that is dishonest and dishonorable. And I know a little bit about that, having been attacked in that fashion many times over many years.
But there is a generally accepted social standard, and if you are in certain public positions, and you violate it, the grown-up thing is to admit it, apologize for it and don’t do it again. Further, there are some words that hurt feelings not just because of some hypersensitivity, or pretended offensiveness, but because they actually are out of line.
Like “retard,” especially when it is used as a pejorative. It is clear that, in this matter, one politician didn’t like the way another politician voted, and – instead of respecting the fact that in a deliberative body people are going to disagree and vote their consciences – another politician chose to disparage him. He had an angry outburst with words that were intended to show contempt and disdain.
One of those words was “retard.”
It is a noun referring to one who has what some call “mental retardation.” It is a specific reference to a handicap or affliction over which one has no control. In most uses – and in this case – “retard” can only be understood as an insult, and the point of the insult is to accuse someone of being mentally handicapped. That assumes that there is something inherently shameful or disgusting about being mentally handicapped.
And no person of good conscience could really feel that way. It would be unconscionable to mock someone for having cancer or being raped, and it would likewise be unconscionable to mock someone for being mentally handicapped – and that is really what is happening when you angrily call someone a retard. Not everyone would realize that, but no one – on reflection – could deny it.
And no one could deny that failing to accept individual responsibility for what was said at the Legislature is chicken crap. Someone said the words. That someone knows who he is. It is cowardly and dishonest not to fess up. In fact, to seek to avoid individual responsibility as a public official – to try to hide – is a major personal flaw.
But there’s more to this.
Because “retard” wasn’t all he said.
He also blurted, as an expletive, the word “Jesus.” To many people, that is at least as offensive and hateful as “retard.” To make the name of the Son of God a curse word is deeply hurtful to many, and an offense against Christianity – the world’s largest religion.
Nobody called a press conference to say that, and the politically correct evening news looked the other way, but it is a fact. And it is another insight into the person who spoke these words. In two angrily muttered expletives, someone showed mocking disdain for both God and God’s children. If there’s anybody who doesn’t deserve to be turned into an epithet of scorn, it is the Savior who died for mankind and innocent people who have a mental affliction.
And this person knew better.
Whether the speaker was Dan Quatro or someone else, he knew better. It is inconceivable that, from his mother’s knee onward, whoever spoke those words hadn’t been taught that such things were wrong. And yet, in a pique of political upset, from his heart he brought an outburst that offended his God, his religion, his family, his office and his society.
In a position of public trust, with a responsibility of leadership, in the workings of an elected legislature, someone breathed evil filth which would have, had his parents been around, probably earned him a slap across the face.
That’s not something you gloss over with BS about it doesn’t matter who said what. That’s something you resolve by having someone – a real man – stand up and say, “I did it. And I was wrong. I know better and I’m ashamed. I apologize. I hope you will forgive me and I promise it won’t happen again.”
That level of honesty allows for repentance and forgiveness. This stuff that came out of Dan Quatro and the Monroe County Legislature was nothing but political tap-dancing.
The man who said those words knows who he is, and the fact he won’t admit them only reinforces what those words say about him.
- by Bob Lonsberry © 2009
