Written May 10, 2012     

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Which is a greater threat to morality and society?
Gay marriage
Out-of-wedlock birth

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© 2016 Bob Lonsberry


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Gay marriage is a sin and an abomination.

But it is also a sideshow.

In the array of threats endangering our nation and our society, gay marriage is a distracting but insignificant peripheral issue.

Yes, it is wrong. Yes, it is a joke. Yes, it is a sign of just how far our culture and values have fallen.

But, no, it doesn’t make a difference.

Worrying about gay marriage is like complaining that the toilets were backed up on the Titanic. It is evil, but it is not particularly relevant.

Far more dangerous to our nation’s future is the plague of out-of-wedlock birth, and the general devaluation of marriage among heterosexuals. The deferring of marriage, the disengagement of marriage, the prevalence of divorce – all in the context of exploding out-of-wedlock birth – combine to make a perfect storm of personal and social decay.

The family is the basic unit of society, and marriage is the foundation of family. Unfortunately, a cancerous disengagement from marriage and family is spreading like wildfire through American society. This is resulting in a fraying of social and cultural structure, and producing a bumper crop of social pathologies.

In short, as families fail to form, or form and then fail, we are producing dysfunctional individuals who produce a society unable to sustain itself in any meaningful way. We face a dramatic and rapid devaluation of our culture and civilization. We lose centuries of social maturity in a generation or two of failed families.

For the purpose of this discussion, family will be what it has always been – a married mother and father and their children. That nuclear family, that building block of society, is the defining and determining characteristic of a culture and people.

Certainly, there are exceptions. Spouses die, people get divorced, step-families are created. But exceptions cannot become the rule, and neither can they be given priority or advantage relative to the rule.

And neither can we pretend that defective relationships and structures – most notably the curse of out-of-wedlock birth – are equivalent to married couples and their children. Ironically and horrifically, in our desire to be considerate and politically correct, we have praised, rewarded and even incentivized out-of-wedlock birth.

Among women under 30, more than half of all children born in America are out of wedlock. In some portions of society, particularly in some minority populations, the out-of-wedlock birthrate ranges from two-thirds to three-quarters.

No society can long exist under such circumstances.

The poverty, social dysfunction, educational failure, criminal conduct and welfare dependence that result from out-of-wedlock birth are open wounds on the American social body. In the aggregate, they cannot be long survived. Children born into such circumstance are almost doomed to failure across a broad spectrum of their lives, and the nation cannot tolerate such failure in a moral, social or financial way.

No true family forms, the roles of both men and women are destroyed, normal personal and societal development are thwarted, and America goes the way of Rome.

And we can’t blame that on gay marriage.

Homosexuals are probably 2 percent of the population. Reasonably, that means they are responsible for 2 percent of our problems. Unfortunately, our problems are a lot bigger than 2 percent. And the scourge of marital decline and out-of-wedlock birth can’t be blamed on homosexuals. It’s not the gay guys getting women pregnant and running out on them. It’s not the lesbians who have pushed back the average age of marriage and decreased the percentage of people who will marry in their lifetime.

This isn’t about them, this is about us.

They are a distraction. The homosexual agenda incorporates a massive dose of narcissism, and forces itself into the national discussion. And those who speak for traditional values join them in making gay marriage a central issue.

But both are wrong in this regard, and out of proportion.

They are talking about stopped up toilets on the Titanic.

It is not our embrace of gay marriage that most endangers our society or our souls, it is our embrace of shacking up. It is our acceptance of unmarried pregnancy as an acceptable norm. Gay daddy isn’t our biggest problem, baby daddy is. It isn’t what homosexuals are doing to marriage that should most alarm us, it is what heterosexuals are doing to it that should get our attention.

The best illustration of the current situation is biblical. This is mote and beam. Jesus warned about those who point out a speck of sawdust in their neighbor’s eye while ignoring the log in their own eye. It is easy to point out the moral impropriety of gay marriage, but harder to acknowledge the horrific sin of marital collapse across American society.

Gay marriage is a sideshow.

Yes, it is a sin. Yes, it is ridiculous to believe that politicians can redefine a God-created institution. But we waste time and effort in casting the first stone against it. We must focus our energies on calling dysfunctional heterosexual relationships to repentance.

We must re-enthrone marriage and family as the ruling norms of our society.

And that’s not about gay people.

That’s about the rest of us.

- by Bob Lonsberry © 2012

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